The Brawny meets Castaway: Has anyone seen my paper towels or Wilson?

The Alex Knost meets Billy Mays: Notice the gaps between the beard and the sideburns.

The Chinstrap: Yo, what time does Hatebreed go on? I own the pit!

The Dante: I'm not even supposed to be here today!

The George Armstrong Custer: We're talkin' how many Injuns?

The Hogan: Has anyone seen my feathered boa? I am a real American.

The Tom Selleck: Call Gutenberg about that Three Men Part 3 script.

The Wimpy: I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

The Minor Threat: I was carded for the first time in about 7 months after shaving.

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