First off, I cannot take credit for this idea. Chaos did it a long time ago and a lot better than I did. If you want to check out his inspirational pictures, go here: The Many Faces of Chaos. My beard wasn't nearly as gnarly and Amy in Maryland so I had to take the pictures myself. Enough with the excuses...on with the show.
The Brawny meets Castaway: Has anyone seen my paper towels or Wilson?
The Alex Knost meets Billy Mays: Notice the gaps between the beard and the sideburns.
The Chinstrap: Yo, what time does Hatebreed go on? I own the pit!
The Dante: I'm not even supposed to be here today!
The George Armstrong Custer: We're talkin' how many Injuns?
The Hogan: Has anyone seen my feathered boa? I am a real American.
The Tom Selleck: Call Gutenberg about that Three Men Part 3 script.
The Wimpy: I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
The Minor Threat: I was carded for the first time in about 7 months after shaving.